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Everything I've Always Wanted (Live in Berlin 2012)

by The Cassandra Complex

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1.
Intro 02:11
2.
The last thing you did before you went away You built a bonfire of our dreams, made it a holiday You filled it with pain, you filled it with champagne Said goodbye darling, said never again What can I do for you, that you haven’t done for me? What can I do, what can I do for you? Your broke your heart running after me Then nearly broke your legs running to be free I treated your vision with polite derision Love turned into lust, trust became suspicion What can I do for you, that you haven’t done for me? What can I do, what can I do for you?
3.
VALIS 05:12
Everything I’ve always wanted… All the dreams that come to haunt me Are right here now I close my eyes And from the skies I feel the presence of a Vast And Living Intelligence Vast And Living Intelligence System Source of energy, source of wisdom Vast and living Vast And Living Intelligence System Information of life insistent Vast and living Vast and living All-forgiving Immanent and transcendent Intelligence Vast and living intelligence Filling my brain, my every sense With ecstasy Of VALIS Vast And Living Intelligence System Source of energy, source of wisdom Vast and living Vast And Living Intelligence System Information of life insistent Vast and living
4.
Datakill 04:36
Electric eyes, cattle prods Sticky tape recorders Tear gas, barbed wire words Games and economic behaviour The name of this game is small high bizmanship Small high bizmanship We engineer technofear We engineer technofear Technofear Shipping overseas to the promised land of gold and diamonds Golden boys, golden girls Shipping, shipping Electric eyes, cattle prods Sticky tape recorders Tear gas, barbed wire words Games and economic behaviour Well, I know these things happen I know people get killed But I leave my work in the office At home I play games Games and economic behaviour Digital stimulation Datakill State of the art, art of the state Datakill Lay your hands on our product Lay your hands on us Datakill
5.
Ground 04:35
We’re going up, up into space Among the stars, into the holes Into the sea, into the dark We’re drowning now, space is cold We’re swimming in the sea, swimming with the Lord He’s with us now, he’s with us here Swimming in the sea, swimming with the Lord He’s with us now, here comes the word We fall and fall, fall and fall Fall and fall, and fall, and fall, and fall We pull the stuff, up from the ground Our enemy is gravity, we can’t go down We freeze the earth, up in the air We can’t go on, we can’t go on We just fall, and fall and fall And fall and fall, and fall, and fall, and fall Bite the hand, the hand that feeds Raise your head, challenge the sun Bite the hand, the hand that bleeds Kill the desire, be with the one We fall and fall, fall and fall Fall and fall, and fall, and fall, and fall We’re going up, up into space We’re going up, among the stars Into the dark, into the sea We’re drowning now, we’re drowning now We fall and fall, fall and fall Fall and fall, and fall, and fall, and fall
6.
Why? 04:52
I saw my father die when I was six years old I saw him kiss my mother with his last breath I saw my mother die two hours later Crushed by the weight of the soldier that raped her Why is the world like it is? They took me away, gave me a gun Told me to shoot my friends, do it or starve They raped my sister, then I raped my sister It wasn’t funny at the time Why is the world like it is So we went to the jungle and painted our faces Found the old temples, found the old gods We worshipped them animals, worshipped them with helicopters We worshipped them with people, we built a sausage machine Why is the world like it is? You come from the city, what do you know of our gods? You’ve never seen blood, you never seen happiness You’ve never known freedom., you’ll never be free Till you die Why is the world like it is?
7.
Second Shot 06:24
The return of the Freedom Seven A shepherd following his dog to the ends of the Earth Second by twenty-three days, Alan; no-one knew your name You didn’t get your sixteen minutes of fame Just a second, second shot Second, second shot All that glitters isn’t gold, but who cares, anyway? Let me bounce off your lens and into the trees Playing handball with my conscience America, come back to me For a second, second shot Second, second shot The Great Escape, tunnelling through the air One man and his dog, playing all the time One small ball for a man One giant game for mankind And a second, second shot Second, second shot
8.
Motherad 06:07
Night falls over the city like a cloak of invisibility Wrapping around me, wrapping me round It’s penetrating, it’s reaching down, down, down, down It’s grabbing my genes and it’s twisting, it’s twisting I can’t see you, but I know you’re there You’re the one who’s nursed the human race for centuries, for centuries I want to leave you, I can’t wait to run away You had your chance, you twisted me But you didn’t win Win You didn’t win You think that I can’t live outside you You surrounded everything with safety But I won’t eat your food, I won’t drink your milk I want to grow old and cold and lonely As long as you don’t win Win You didn’t win
9.
Tell Me 05:48
Love is blind, but I’m learning sign language Love is blind, but I’m learning to see Learning to be what you want me to be Learning to be all that you need I was brought up to believe in love I was brought up to believe in everything And I do, every time I see you I believe nothing else is true Tell me, tell me all that you want from me Tell me, tell me all that you need from me Tell me, I’ll be right there for you Tell me, I’ll be right there for you Love is blind, I wish I could see What’s in you mind, when you look at me If love is blind, then understand me please Why it took so long for me to see Tell me, tell me all that you want from me Tell me, tell me all that you need from me Tell me, I’ll be right there for you Tell me, I’ll be right there for you I woke up last night, looked like the sky was on fire I kissed your lips, watched the flames grow higher You are my sky, you are my funeral pyre All that exists is all you desire Tell me, tell me all that you want from me Tell me, tell all that you need from me Tell me, I’ll be right there for you Tell me, I’ll be right there for you Tell me, I’ll be right there for you Tell me, I’ll be right there for you
10.
It’s dark outside, the screen is lit I’m sitting where I always sit Knowing that I will submit And once more play the hypocrite I need this life, I’ll never quit Though everything is counterfeit I’ll grit my teeth and take the shit I must admit I will submit We’ll live & die, we’ll laugh & cry We’ll never even wonder why In the War Against Sleep (x2) We’ll never do just what we please We’ll live our life down on our knees In the War Against Sleep (x2) It’s doesn’t matter if you give me pain I’ll sit here silent I won’t complain I’ll stick the needle in my own vein If you will keep me entertained I don’t care if my life’s insane As long as I can stay in chains Learn to drink some more champagne And say that it’s all just a game We’ll live & die, we’ll laugh & cry We’ll never even wonder why In the War Against Sleep (x2) We’ll never do just what we please We’ll live our life down on our knees In the War Against Sleep (x2)
11.
Kneel to the boss Kneel at my feet Kneel Kneel Let’s make a deal Kneel Kneel Feel you bow beneath my heel What can you do when you rule the world? What can you do when you have it all? What can you do when all you have are slaves? Kneel Kneel Feel the pain you can’t conceal Kneel Kneel Feel your blood upon the steel Industry Kneel Kneel Feel the joy you can’t conceal Kneel Kneel Feel you bow beneath my heel The slaves shall serve So serve me now Kneel…
12.
6am and I'm alone again In a bed in a Northern town The sun's coming up, and I'm feeling rough And I'm coming down It's always morning somewhere The sun will always rise But when the sun goes down, will I turn around And wake up beside you? I'm wired for the speed of sound I die if I stay on the ground I live in undiscovered lands And shifting sands Do I do what I always do? Or try to be something new? Be the man of experience Or the boy that never grew? I'm wired for the speed of sound I die if I stay on the ground I live in undiscovered lands And shifting sands of you Fragile right from the start One mistake and we fell apart Nothing to say, nowhere to go So... on with show 6am and I'm alone again In a bed in a Northern town The sun's coming up, and I'm feeling rough And I'm coming down I'm wired for the speed of sound I die if I stay on the ground I live in undiscovered lands And shifting sands
13.
No military, no armored cars No helicopters, or planes with stars Just men with RPGS and scarves And little children with scars Pregnant woman in a burka One shot takes two from afar Mother sits beside a grave Shouldn't have spread her legs apart Kid with a rifle means its harder But you still need to make that shot Still your beating heart And stop his on the spot We defend ourselves We defend ourselves Worst case scenario Burn the pages Eat the pigs Take off your clothes You're not so big I'm in charge and you're in jail In a foreign land without appeal So do as you're told or take a swim In a bucket of water filled to the brim We defend ourselves We defend ourselves Worst case scenario
14.
Nightfall 03:46
When I hear you calling I won’t answer When I hear you calling I won’t be there I’ll be flying over some other Europe Filled with darkness, filled with despair Night falls over Western Europe Jihad is coming, jihad is coming The Third World War is coming home Night falls over Western Europe The hills are alive with the sound of gunfire Kill them all, God will know his own And night falls over Western Europe Night falls, and we’re alone Night falls over Western Europe
15.
You think that you can tell me how to live my life Well, I’m tired of hearing that I’m tired of hearing that from you I’m tired of hearing assholes Telling me I’ll never be good enough Good enough for them Good enough for you Stupid! I see you every night on the T.V. I see you every day in the city You’re beneath my feet, beneath my words, beneath contempt You’re beneath my pity Because you’re stupid Stupid! Too stupid to sin You think that I must be lonely Because I don’t want to be with you But you’re never alone with an asshole, baby You never walk alone You never walk alone! Because you’re stupid Stupid! Too stupid to sin You think that you can tell me how to live my life Well, I’m tired of hearing that I’m tired of hearing that from you I’m tired of hearing assholes Telling me I’ll never be good enough Good enough for them Good enough for you Stupid! Too stupid to sin Let your heart fall in!
16.
Presents 05:01
Let’s all go back in my time machine My window to the world, it’s hit and myth Back to old age, swinging Sixties Swinging from a tree When I was a child I thought I was a man I was right All I needed was a little bit of experience All I needed was a window All I needed was a window to the world So much for nothing I’ve got a window to the world In my house Made in the Sixties Built of concrete, built of glass Not built by computer Built by an idiot Built by an idiot, yeah, yeah So much for nothing When I grow up I’m gonna buy myself a great big bomb I’m gonna buy a bomb big enough, I’m blow up the future Then everybody can be happy, everybody will be happy Happy, happy, happy, happy Happy, happy, happy, happy So much for nothing
17.
I can do what I want I can get what I want Because me and my friends are the people who matter I can go anywhere I want I only eat at the best restaurants You run the race but we run the world You do the work and we take the spoils You can't come in here because you're not on the list If you know what's good for you You'll shut up and do what you're told Don't talk back, do as you're told Don't talk back, don't talk back We don't need girls, who wants girls? Too much makeup and too many curls They're just good for cooking and breeding Our biggest mistake was teaching them reading
18.
Moscow Idaho 05:03
HELLO AMERICA Hello America is a compilation of our early 12″ EPs from 1985-1986, plus a couple of previously unreleased extra tracks. The album was originally compiled as our first release in the USA, and the title is taken from a collection of J. G. Ballard stories – we wanted to acknowledge how much he had influenced us. If you haven’t read any of J. G Ballard’s books you should do so, he’s extremely good. I especially recommend The Atrocity Exhibition , a book whose title had previously been used by Joy Division for one of their songs. We recorded these tracks on a tiny budget, and were really still learning how to make records. The original CD release was one of the very early independent CDs created and it wasn’t pressed the way we wanted it. So in 2019 we remastered and re-released this album and now it finally sounds the way it did when we originally recorded it. You can listen to it here… MOSCOW, IDAHO Don’t look now, we’re flying over A little place that lies below It’s nothing very special, it’s just a town Called Moscow, Moscow, Idaho Moscow, Idaho It’s not that far from here, it’s not that far away It’s just around the corner, over the sea Over the sea, over the waves Over the sea, over the waves Moscow, Idaho You may not have heard of our little town That’s not surprising, no-one lives there Anyone with any sense lives in Los Angeles Anyone who’s anyone lives in L.A. City of angels We’re all angels Just down the street in Moscow, Idaho Lives a boy, prettiest boy in world He’s in love with the prettiest girl Who lives next door, she always lives next door, in Moscow, Idaho That’s what love is all about In an empty town, it always lives next door Or next door but one, let’s be Frank Let’s be Frank, let’s be Frank Moscow, Idaho
19.
I could die if I touched you A long, slow, torturous death Of a thousand cuts In a thousand ways I can only hold you through a piece of plastic With your name on it With your name on it I feel a million miles away from you But it’s just It’s just a millionth of an inch So hold me, hold me close right now Take me in your arms But not too close Not too close I could die if I touched you And you could die of me You could die in my arms Die in my dreams We close our eyes so we can’t see How much we hurt each other When we fall When we fall between the sheets So hold me, hold me close right now Take me in your arms But not too close Not too close We will lose our lives We will lose our lives, we will lose our fears We die a million times A million times, a million times And a million times, and a million times again So hold me, hold me close right now Take me in your arms But not too close Not too close
20.
In a boat heading upriver In a boat heading to your heart The end of comfort, the end of artifice The end of everything, the end of everything Into the heart I snort some coke It’s in my brain Makes me feel alive Makes the world insane Into the heart I see the colours Of the trees Out there’s the enemy Waiting for me Into the heart I got an Uzi The only work of art And on the handgrip I paint my heart Into the heart
21.
22.
Dion Fortune 06:41
She is the sea that holds all things within her My life is between her hands She is space and earth (and life) and water She is all, and she will understand I go to her across the shadowy river She keeps my soul until the dawn The Dark Queen comes, comes to renew me From Death’s caress, I rise reborn Awaken me with kisses in the darkness Isis, the giver of life I am dead until you come to save me I am dead till you become my wife
23.
Gunship 12:58
And you kick me down And you hold me down And you turn me around And you feel the heat And you take me down And you kick me down And I feel your breath on my cheek And I feel you touch my hair And you kick me down And you take me down And you swing me around And you hold me down And I see the fear in your eyes And you’re near me now And you kick me down And you push me down And you kick me down And you kick me down And I take the knife, lift my throat And I see the fear in your eyes And I see the fear And I know that I’ve won And you kick me down And you kick me down And you hold me down And you kick me down And I know that I’ve won And I smile at you And I feel the heat And I know that I’m dead And you’re flying above And I taste the smoke coming from your lips And I know that I’ve won And I take the gun from my hips And I take the gun And I shoot you down And I feel the shot And I feel the blood between my legs And it hurts me now And I feel the heat between my hands And I feel the throb of your death And I fall back on the cockpit floor And I’m flying above And I’m in you now And you know it’ll never be the same And I’m in you now And I see my skin getting whiter every minute And I’m in you now And I take your body And I make it my own And I am you And I’m everyone And I’m in you now Take me home

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Recorded Live in Berlin 2012
Mixed at StreamConnect London 2020

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released May 1, 2020

Rodney Orpheus: vocals
Andy Booth: guitar, keyboards
Volker Zacharias: guitar, bass
Axel Ermes: synthesisers, vocoder

Martin Reissner: lighting
Bob Malkowski: live sound

Produced by Rodney Orpheus

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The Cassandra Complex Manchester, UK

Official site for all albums by legendary gothic / electronic / industrial band The Cassandra Complex, as well as solo albums and productions by band leader Rodney Orpheus.

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